“...And falling headlong, he burst open in the middle...” (Acts 1:18)
Ernest Hemingway says, “The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” What an amazing statement. What an ennobling and heroic observation of the persistence of the human spirit. And yet I have a question for Mr Hemingway ? He speaks of the many but what about the others ? What about the others who die despairing and broken ? Broken at the broken places... What about all those who fall headlong – bursting open in the middle so that all their bowels come gushing out ?
Judas the disciple of Jesus was one of those. Why is the silence surrounding him so deafening ? It make me wonder...
Judas must have had great potential. He was chosen from among many, to be an apostle no less. He must have been trusted and methodical because he was the keeper of the common purse. Judas must have been a consistent man, steadfast and unbending. Why ? Because Jesus fully knew his dark & terrible purpose.
Judas the apostle. Judas the visionary, Judas the impatient man of action. Judas – the man who kissed life passionately with his mouth wide open. Judas who kissed my Lord and betrayed into the hands of his enemies.
I want to ask... Why Judas ? Why ?
What was it that drove you to despair & quiet desperation ? What blocked all your sense of a bright future and left you curled up in the corner in fear ? Judas, what caused you to fall headlong – bursting open in the middle so that all your bowels came gushing out ?
I had a friend called Matt. He was a quiet and thoughtful man of great potential. He was a deep thinker, strong and unbending when he set his mind to it. On March 10, 1998, Matt died in his car – he took his own life in quiet desperation, silently despairing - bursting open in the middle and all alone ! He was only twenty years old.
And I am still left wondering... Why Matthew, why ? I still miss him !
Posts
